Learning & Play

What Is My Newborn Learning?

Play is the chief way that infants learn how to move, communicate, socialize, and understand their surroundings. And during the first month of life, your baby will learn by interacting with you.

The first thing your baby will learn is to associate the feel of your touch, the sound of your voice, and the sight of your face with getting his or her needs for comfort and food met. You can encourage your newborn to learn by stimulating your newborn’s senses in positive ways — with smiles, smoothing sounds, and gentle caresses.

Even at this young age, newborns are ready to learn about the world around them. A newborn loves to look at faces, especially mom’s. Likewise, in the first days and weeks of life, newborns can recognize their mother’s voice. Your infant will respond to your voice (or other interesting sounds) by looking alert and becoming less active. The baby may try to find out where the sound is coming from by looking around and turning his or her head.

When you smile and talk to your infant, your face and the sound of your voice will become a familiar source of calm and comfort, and your little one will learn to associate you with getting nourishment, warmth, and soothing touch.

The “Rooting Reflex”

Babies are born with reflexes or programmed responses to certain stimuli, such as touch. These reflexes help ensure survival. But they also provide an opportunity for a baby to interact with the world. For example, the rooting reflex is elicited by gently stroking a newborn’s cheek. The infant’s response is to turn head and mouth to that side, ready to eat.

By the time they’re 3 weeks old, babies will turn toward the breast or bottle not just out of a reflex, but because they’ve learned that it’s a source of food.

Asleep, Active, or Alert?

During the first month of life, your newborn will spend much of the day sleeping or seeming drowsy. Over the next several weeks to months, your baby will mature and be awake or alert for longer periods of time.

It’s important to recognize when your baby is alert and ready to learn and play and when your little one would rather be left alone:

• A baby who is quiet and alert will be attentive and responsive and interested in surroundings.
• A baby who is awake but active (squirming, flapping arms, or kicking legs) or fussing will be less able to focus on you. The baby may seem agitated or start to cry when you try to get his or her attention. These are signs that your baby may be getting overstimulated.

Over the coming weeks and months, you’ll learn to recognize when your infant is ready to learn or overstimulated.

Encouraging Your Newborn to Learn

As you care for your newborn, he or she is learning to recognize your touch, the sound of your voice, and the sight of your face.

In the first few weeks you may want to introduce some simple, age-appropriate toys that appeal to the senses of sight, hearing, and touch, such as:

• rattles
• textured toys
• musical toys
• unbreakable crib mirrors

Try toys and mobiles with contrasting colors and patterns. Strong contrasts (such as red, white, and black), curves, and symmetry stimulate an infant’s developing vision. As vision improves and babies gain more control over their movements, they’ll interact more and more with their environment.

Some Other Ideas

Here are some other ideas for encouraging your newborn to learn and play:

• Put on soothing music and hold your baby, gently swaying to the tune.
• Pick a soothing song or lullaby and softly sing it often to your baby. The familiarity of the sound and words will have a soothing effect, particularly during fussy times.
• Smile, stick out your tongue, and make other expressions for your infant to study, learn, and imitate.
• Use a favorite toy for your newborn to focus on and follow, or shake a rattle for your infant to find.
• Let your baby spend some awake time on his or her tummy to help strengthen the neck and shoulders. Always supervise your infant during “tummy time” and be ready to help if he or she gets tired or frustrated in this position. Never put an infant to sleep on his or her stomach — babies should sleep on their backs to reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).
• Talk to your baby.

Keep in mind that babies develop at different rates, and there is a wide range of normal development. If you have any concerns about your newborn’s ability to see or hear, or your baby doesn’t seem to be developing well in other ways, talk with your doctor.

Reasons to Love Music

Whether dancing around the living room on a rainy day or singing along to the radio, school-age kids love listening to — and participating in — music.

And there are loads of good reasons to encourage this enthusiasm. Research shows that kids who are actively involved in music (who play it or sing it regularly):

• do better in reading
• learn coordination, goal-setting, concentration, and cooperation
• are more likely to do better in math and science because music helps build reasoning skills and cognitive development, which are important to both
• get along better with their peers and have higher self-esteem
• are more likely to go to college

One study showed that second-grade students who were given keyboard training while also using math software scored higher on proportional math and fractions tests than students who used the software alone. And students who’ve been involved in public school music programs score higher on their SATs than those who haven’t been.

But the best reason to encouraging a love of music might just be that it’s fun. Kids (and many adults) enjoy few things more than singing, dancing, and listening to music.

Just Press “Play”

Listening to a wide variety of music improves a child’s ability to analyze and understand it. The early elementary-school years are the perfect time to expose kids to everything from classical to country. Most are open to experiencing many musical styles until around the third grade, when they start to prefer popular music. (Studies have also shown that kids in grades four and up prefer music with a faster tempo — so get ready to rock & roll if your child is approaching middle school.)

Fill your child’s life with as much music as you can. Some ideas:

• Put a small stereo and a rotating collection of songs in your child’s room.
• A musical alarm clock or clock radio can help your child wake up musically. Many stereos have timers that let kids to drift off to music as well. And certain songs can serve as cues for your child (for instance, one song you always play or sing in the morning when it’s time to get ready for school).
• Sample CDs from your local library. You can try different artists and styles without spending money.
• Introduce kids to songs from your own childhood or music you especially love.
• Sing in the car.
• Make or buy musical instruments and have them available in your child’s play area.
• Cook to music, clean to music, and take time sometimes just to sit and listen as an activity.
• Try music-making computer software programs that let kids lay down their own tracks, just like a professional.
• Form your own family band with real or improvised instruments (spoons, makeshift drums, etc.). This is a good group activity for kids to try with friends.

Ready for Lessons?

You may be wondering if your music-loving child is ready for lessons. Most kids are ready for formal music instruction between ages 5 and 7. The piano is a logical place to start — kids who learn keyboarding skills also learn the fundamental musical concepts needed for other instruments or even for vocal music. String instruments are another good place to begin. Brass or wind instruments can be more physically challenging and may not be good choices until the fourth or fifth grade.

If piano lessons were a dreaded chore for you growing up, they might well be for your child. Likewise, if you force musical training, your child likely won’t embrace it. But if your child expresses an interest in learning to play an instrument and seems consistently and genuinely enthusiastic, consider giving it a go.

Ask yourself these questions before starting lessons:

• Playing musical instruments makes physical demands on kids. Does your child have the appropriate physical development and fine motor control to play? (A good music teacher can help determine a child’s physical readiness.)
• Can your child focus on one thing for 20-30 minutes?
• Does he or she understand and manipulate letters and numbers?
• Has your child had adequate musical exposure? Can he or she keep a steady beat, identify incorrect notes in a familiar song, and repeat basic rhythm and pitch patterns? (If the answer is no, work on these skills before beginning formal lessons.)
• Are you willing to attend the lessons regularly and help ensure that your child practices?
• Do you think your child will be willing to practice? What will you do if your child doesn’t like lessons?

Whether you choose to begin instrument lessons or not, your child should get some music instruction at school. Elementary school should provide opportunities to sing, play instruments, listen to music, and understand the role music plays in our culture. Your child also will probably get some basic instruction in reading music, writing music, and understanding music theory.

Most grade schools also have a choir or band. If your child’s school doesn’t have a music program, churches or community music schools and other organizations may have music instruction and musical groups open to kids.

Music is inherent in all of us. In fact, researchers now think it may predate language in human development. So whether your child becomes a concert pianist or simply enjoys singing in the shower, encourage that love of music!

When rain or snow puts a damper on playing outside and cabin fever is driving everyone bonkers, these quick play-and-pretend ideas will keep kids occupied and happy for hours:

Put on a Show With Homemade Puppets

We’ve all created puppets out of cotton socks, paper bags, markers, and a handful of buttons. But kids can get really creative with a cool grab-bag of puppetry accessories that you gather and store in a special Puppet Box. As you’re cleaning the house or shopping at grocery, thrift, or dollar stores, keep an eye out for fun adornments for homemade puppets.

Collect and buy: glitter, dried beans, sequins, tinsel, pipe cleaners, string, ribbons, yarn, buttons and appliques, holiday decorations, stickers, seashells, etc. (beware of small objects, though, that could pose a choking hazard for small children).

Also keep your Puppet Box stocked with must-have items like glue, scissors, washable markers, Popsicle sticks, and a needle and thread (when sewing, supervise young kids or do sewing projects yourself). Also, keep a few small cardboard boxes — folded and flattened for easy storage — to cut out and color for nifty background scenes and props.

Build a Fort

Get out some old sheets, blankets, or comforters and drape them over the living or dining room furniture. (Be extra careful around breakable and valuable items.) Use ribbons from your sewing kit, or hair scrunchies and hair ties to secure the bottoms of the fabrics to chairs and tables.

Have kids create a secret password that allows outsiders (e.g., Mom and Dad, siblings) into the private hideaway. Give your kid a battery-operated camping lantern, sleeping bags, camping-themed books, and flashlights for that added outdoorsy appeal.

Create a Rainy-Day Dress-Up Chest

Keep an eye out for interesting old clothes items and accessories around the house, on discount racks, and at dollar stores or thrift shops. Stock up on scarves, funky hats (cowboy hats, sombreros, team baseball caps, construction hard hats, etc.), costume jewelry, shoes (adults’ and kids’), shirts (oversized white shirts for doctors’ lab coats, Hawaiian shirts for a luau, etc.), dresses, skirts, and jackets. Collect any piece of clothing or accessory that could lend itself to make-believe.

Put the items in a sturdy plastic storage bin or cardboard box. Then pull out the dress-up chest for plenty of imagination-powered entertainment during rainy or super-snowy days.

Make Thank-You Gifts

Kids often like to thank their caregivers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, babysitters, neighbors, and childcare workers. Bake a few batches of cookies that your child can lovingly decorate and wrap with colored plastic wrap and ribbons; or create thank-you cards on regular old printer paper or construction paper. Add special glued-on adornments like family photos, ribbons, glitter, and buttons (again, beware of small objects that could pose choking hazards for babies and toddlers).

Help improve kids’ spelling and letter identification skills by letting them type and print out their own messages in fancy fonts on the computer. Instead of doing crafts just to get through the day, this project will help kids feel like their time and efforts are being spent on a greater purpose — giving to someone they care about.

Jacob loves books. His mom knows this because when she sits down to read to him every night, he waves his arms excitedly.

His favorite page of “Goodnight Moon” shows a cow jumping over the moon. He squeals and reaches for the book every time he sees it. When she is done reading, his mom usually lets him hold the sturdy board book, which he promptly sticks into his mouth.

Jacob is only 6 months old, but he is already well on his way to becoming a reader.

Why Read to My Baby?

You may wonder about the benefits of reading to your baby. An infant won’t understand everything you’re doing or why. But you wouldn’t wait until your child could understand what you were saying before you started speaking to him or her, right? Nor would you bypass lullabies until your baby could carry a tune or wait until he or she could shake a rattle before you offered any toys.

Reading aloud to your baby is a wonderful shared activity you can continue for years to come — and it’s an important form of stimulation.

Reading aloud:

• teaches a baby about communication
• introduces concepts such as numbers, letters, colors, and shapes in a fun way
• builds listening, memory, and vocabulary skills
• gives babies information about the world around them

Believe it or not, by the time babies reach their first birthday they will have learned all the sounds needed to speak their native language. The more stories you read aloud, the more words your child will be exposed to and the better he or she will be able to talk.

Hearing words helps to build a rich network of words in a baby’s brain. Kids whose parents frequently talk/read to them know more words by age 2 than children who have not been read to. And kids who are read to during their early years are more likely to learn to read at the right time.

When you read, your child hears you using many different emotions and expressive sounds, which fosters social and emotional development. Reading also invites your baby to look, point, touch, and answer questions — all of which promote social development and thinking skills. And your baby improves language skills by imitating sounds, recognizing pictures, and learning words.

But perhaps the most important reason to read aloud is that it makes a connection between the things your baby loves the most — your voice and closeness to you — and books. Spending time reading to your baby shows that reading is a skill worth learning. And, if infants and children are read to often with joy, excitement, and closeness, they begin to associate books with happiness — and budding readers are created.

Different Ages, Different Stages

Young babies may not know what the pictures in a book mean, but they can focus on them, especially faces, bright colors, and contrasting patterns. When you read or sing lullabies and nursery rhymes, you can entertain and soothe your infant.

Between 4 and 6 months, your baby may begin to show more interest in books. He or she will grab and hold books, but will mouth, chew, and drop them as well. Choose sturdy vinyl or cloth books with bright colors and repetitive or rhyming text.

Between 6 and 12 months, your child is beginning to understand that pictures represent objects, and most likely will develop preferences for certain pictures, pages, or even entire stories. Your baby will respond while you read, grabbing for the book and making sounds, and by 12 months will turn pages (with some help from you), pat or start to point to objects on a page, and repeat your sounds.

When and How to Read

Here’s a great thing about reading aloud: It doesn’t take special skills or equipment, just you, your baby, and some books. Read aloud for a few minutes at a time, but do it often. Don’t worry about finishing entire books — focus on pages that you and your baby enjoy.

Try to set aside time to read every day — perhaps before naptime and bedtime. In addition to the pleasure that cuddling your baby before bed gives both of you, you’ll also be making life easier by establishing a routine. This will help to calm your baby and set expectations about when it’s time to sleep.

It’s also good to read at other points in the day. Choose times when your baby is dry, fed, and alert. Books also come in handy when you’re stuck waiting, so have some in the diaper bag to fill time sitting at the doctor’s office or standing in line at the grocery store.

Here are some additional reading tips:

• Cuddling while you read helps your baby feel safe, warm, and connected to you.
• Read with expression, pitching your voice higher or lower where it’s appropriate or using different voices for different characters.
• Don’t worry about following the text exactly. Stop once in a while and ask questions or make comments on the pictures or text. (“Where’s the kitty? There he is! What a cute black kitty.”) Your child might not be able to respond yet, but this lays the groundwork for doing so later on.
• Sing nursery rhymes, make funny animal sounds, or bounce your baby on your knee — anything that shows that reading is fun.
• Babies love — and learn from — repetition, so don’t be afraid of reading the same books over and over. When you do so, repeat the same emphasis each time as you would with a familiar song.
• As your baby gets older, encourage him or her to touch the book or hold sturdier vinyl, cloth, or board books. You don’t want to encourage chewing on books, but by putting them in his or her mouth, your baby is learning about them, finding out how books feel and taste — and discovering that they’re not edible!

What to Read

Books for babies should have simple, repetitive text and clear pictures. During the first few months of life, your child just likes to hear your voice, so you can read almost anything, especially books with a sing-song or rhyming text. As your baby gets more interested in looking at things, choose books with simple pictures against solid backgrounds.

Once your baby begins to grab, you can read vinyl or cloth books that have faces, bright colors, and shapes. When your baby begins to respond to what’s inside of books, add board books with pictures of babies or familiar objects like toys. When your child begins to do things like sit up in the bathtub or eat finger foods, find simple stories about daily routines like bedtime or bathtime. When your child starts talking, choose books that invite babies to repeat simple words or phrases.

Books with mirrors and different textures (crinkly, soft, scratchy) are also great for this age group, as are fold-out books that can be propped up, or books with flaps that open for a surprise. Board books make page turning easier for infants and vinyl or cloth books can go everywhere — even the tub. Babies of any age like photo albums with pictures of people they know and love. And every baby should have a collection of nursery rhymes!

One of the best ways you can ensure that your little one grows up to be a reader is to have books around your house. When your baby is old enough to crawl over to a basket of toys and pick one out, make sure some books are included in the mix.

In addition to the books you own, take advantage of those you can borrow from the library. Many libraries have storytime just for babies, too. Don’t forget to pick up a book for yourself while you’re there. Reading for pleasure is another way you can be your baby’s reading role model.

Ready to Explore

Kids ages 3-5 have tons of energy and are eager to walk, run, dance, and play. It’s a great age for exploration too. Preschoolers learn a lot when given the chance to investigate their environments (with supervision, of course).

There’s much for preschoolers to explore. Now that they’re older, they can focus their energy and tackle more complex activities like playing dress-up, riding trikes, planting seeds, or building something out of snow.

With patience and some imagination, you can help your preschooler be a safe and happy explorer.

Encouraging Exploration

Here are some things to keep in mind:

Hang back. Resist the urge to give your child too many directions or too much correction. Try offering encouragement instead. If your child wants to use her shoe as a hat or a pretend teacup, so be it. The language you use can make a difference. Say, “That makes a great hat!” or “How does that tea taste?”

If your child is doing something unsafe, gently correct or distract. For example, explain the real use of an object (“The pot is for cooking, not bonking your little brother”), then encourage exploration of more acceptable uses for it, such as getting a spoon and using the pot as a drum or to make a pretend soup.

You can suggest ideas for play, but chances are your child may have a different activity in mind — or might stumble onto something intriguing. Allowing kids some time without intervention can help them develop their creativity and learn to master tasks on their own.

Mistakes are OK. Trial-and-error is a brilliant teacher. Letting go enough to let your child fail in a small way (like being unsuccessful at working a zipper) is good for both of you. When your child begins to do something incorrectly and gets frustrated, offer encouragement. You also can provide opportunities to keeping working at the skill that’s being mastered. Then one day soon, your child will be zippering like a champ.

Activity Ideas for Preschoolers

You don’t have to go anywhere special to encourage exploration. Here are some easy ways to do it:

Splash It Up

Kids at this age love water and wet sensations. Find safe household items or look for stuff in the yard that could be washed and examined. What happens to a leaf when it gets wet? What about a rock? Set them up in an area that can get wet — outside, in the bathtub, at a table with a waterproof cloth on it and the floor below — and let them wash, rinse, dunk, and splash! As always, be sure to supervise kids closely during water play.

Please Touch

Making “touch bowls” of things like corn kernels, flour, dried beans, rice, dry spiral pasta, or sand can give children interesting things to feel, grasp, dump, and pour. Be sure to supervise so no one tries to eat what’s in the bowls.

Act It Out

Preschoolers also enjoy role-playing games. Provide safe props for everyday tasks like going grocery shopping, cooking dinner, or going to work. And give them a box of old clothes, hats, and other accessories so they can dress whatever part they’re playing.

Create a Work of Art

It may end up being abstract art, but that’s OK. Fill a “creation box” with drawing materials, stickers, clay, pipe cleaners, straws, and blocks. Lay down newspaper inside, or on a warm day, let them create outdoors.

Watch Nature

With child-safe binoculars and a magnifying glass, kids can explore the great outdoors. This can work in your backyard in or any nature-rich environment.

When it’s safe to do so, let your child lead the way. Stay a pace or two behind and let your child make the discoveries. It’s fun when mom or dad points out a ladybug scooting across a leaf. But if you’re a preschooler, it’s even more fun when you can call out, “Hey, Mom. Look at this!”

On the Move

Toddlers — it’s hard to imagine a more fitting name for this stage of development. Between the ages of 1 and 3, toddlers are literally scooting away from babyhood in search of new adventures. They’re learning to talk, to walk and run, and to assert their independence. For many in this age group, “outside” and “play” are becoming common requests.

As a parent, you’re focused on keeping your little one safe. Supervision and safety precautions, such as gates and electrical outlet covers, are important.

But you’ll also want to offer your toddler chances to explore. That means close supervision but with opportunities to enjoy different environments. From a walk in the woods to a trip to a museum, parents can give kids the space and freedom to investigate, which is an important part of helping them grow.

Why Explore?

Exploring the inside and outside world — with supervision, of course — is important for toddlers’ emotional, social, and physical development. They learn more about the world and how it works. It’s one thing to see an orange, but it’s another to hold it in your hand, feel its cool, smooth surface, smell its fragrance, maybe even taste it. That development is all the better if you ask questions: What color is it? Is it big or little?

Exploring also gives toddlers a chance to work on important motor skills. Whether it’s kicking a ball or climbing stairs, they can persist until they get it right. Doing so not only adds skills, it boosts their sense of confidence and competence. In other words, they begin to think: “I can do it!”

Letting kids explore is one way to see that toddlers get enough daily physical activity. Exploring fits well in that free-play category below. For kids 12- to 36-months-old, current guidelines from the National Association for Sports & Physical Education (NASPE) recommend:

• at least 30 minutes of structured physical activity (adult-led)
• at least 60 minutes unstructured physical activity (free play)

Ideas for Exploring Inside

Possibilities for indoor amusement are endless; here are just a few:

• Mirror, mirror. At this stage, kids learn to recognize themselves in pictures or mirrors. Securely set up a mirror at eye level and let your child explore his or her own face. Ask “Where’s your nose?” or “Can you open your mouth?” Fill a small photo album with pictures of relatives and friends that you can look through together or let your child look at on his or her own. Toddlers also enjoy imitating the behavior of others. Try playing physical or verbal imitation games.
• Kid-friendly cabinets. Turn some low-lying cabinets into exploration shelves, stacked with things a toddler can pull out, bang together, and shake around. Though the items are child-safe, be sure to supervise.
• Tactile toys. Toddlers love to use their sense of touch. Set your older toddler up with some Play-Doh (store-bought or homemade), finger paint, or other age-appropriate materials that can safely be squeezed, patted, poked, and prodded. Younger toddlers will like wrapping paper, wax paper, or textured toys that are fun to touch and crinkle.
• Household toy box. To encourage imagination, create a toy box with dolls, safe housekeeping items like clean sponges or brushes, dress-up clothes, and toy telephones (without dangerous cords). Plastic containers with lids, plastic cups and plates, and just about anything you can stack, pile, fill and empty, or nest also make great toys for toddlers.
• Climbing mount staircase. Many toddlers like to climb stairs. Go up and down together on carpeted stairs, but be sure to replace gates when you are done. On flat ground, depending on your child’s age and abilities, practice walking backwards or on tiptoes. Imitate animals (walk like a penguin, jump like a kangaroo, etc.) or dance to music.

Outside Exploring

• Play ball. Have a variety of balls around to play with. During the toddler years, kids learn to kick, throw, and catch balls.
• Beach it. Even just in the backyard, water and sand are great tactile attractions for toddlers. Create a water table or use a small basin or bucket to float boats, use other water toys, and splash around. Create a sandbox or take kids to the beach to let them feel sand on their toes and fingers. Always supervise kids around water, and dump out water from containers when you’re done. Be sure to cover sandboxes when not in use to keep pets and other animals from contaminating them.
• Examine nature. Encourage your child to pick up leaves and rocks, feel the bark on trees, and collect bugs.
• Chalk it up. Sidewalk chalk comes in big sizes, perfect for the toddler grip. Their “drawings” are abstract at best, but they’ll delight in watching their scribblings appear.
• Make a lunch date. Group expeditions that bring a bunch of toddlers together in an open space —a park, gym, recreation center, or someone’s backyard — can be fun for adults and kids. The kids might not interact much at this age, but they’re learning to and are eager to see other faces and kids.

Tips for Safe and Happy Exploration

Supervise, but step back. Pay attention to your urges to help. After providing the materials your child needs, fight the urge to overmanage the activity. If your child wants to bang blocks together, don’t intervene unless there’s the chance that someone might get hurt.

Correct, when necessary. If your child does something dangerous, unhealthy, or destructive — walking with pens, eating crayons, or throwing stones, for example — gently instruct him or her about the proper use of the object: “Chairs are for sitting, not standing” or “You can bang the spoon on the pot, but it’s not for hitting other things or people.” Try not to react more strongly than the situation calls for. Toddlers often will push the boundaries and ignore your initial request. If gently dissuading them doesn’t work, try to distract them with other activities and items.

Remember: “It’s all about the journey.” Anyone who’s tried walking a child to the library or a friend’s house knows that the journey there is full of distractions and stops. Kids often want to examine everyday items most of us overlook. Bugs, rocks, lawn ornaments, fallen leaves, parked cars — they’re all fascinating to toddlers. Encourage them to touch bark, examine twigs, watch spiders, or look at the colors of lights and shop signs, watch doors opening and closing, trucks idling, and people boarding buses.

As parents, you might feel impatient to get busy and get your child to the activity you’ve planned. You want to get started “doing something.” But to kids, this exploration is doing something. Rather than rushing along, take a deep breath and make new discoveries together.

Listening and Learning

From kindergarten through third grade, a child’s ability to read grows by leaps and bounds. Although teachers provide lots of help, parents continue to play a very important role in their child’s reading development.

Kids who are first learning to read get more information from listening to books read aloud than from reading them independently. This is especially true for vocabulary development — kids will learn much more about what words mean by hearing books read aloud and discussing new words with their parents than from reading on their own.

As your child’s reading skills improve, he or she will begin to read independently. This doesn’t mean, however, that you should stop reading to your child. Reading aloud together can help build vocabulary, improve reading skills, and foster a sense of closeness between you and your child. Encourage discussion about characters and share your reactions to books to help reinforce the connection between what you read and everyday life.

Your Growing Reader

Here’s how reading usually progresses from kindergarten to third grade:

Kindergarten. This is the time when most kids begin learning to read. By the end of the school year they will probably know most letters and their sounds, be able to match words with the same beginning or ending sounds, and read/write several simple words. They might be able to read simple text as well.

First grade. In this year, most kids learn to read many more words. They sound out words with a variety of phonics patterns, recognize a growing list of words by sight, and connect meaning to the words and sentences they read. Most first-graders can read simple books independently by the end of the school year.

Second and third grade. Kids in second and third grade continue to learn more phonics patterns and sight words for reading and spelling, read aloud more expressively and fluently, use reading to discover more about the world around them, and perhaps show a preference for specific authors and types of books. You’ll likely start to see a shift as your child begins to focus his/her energy on learning new information from text. Ideally, children at this age have learned how to read, and are now reading to learn.

If you have concerns about your child’s reading level at any time, talk to your child’s teacher, school counselor, and doctor. Kids who are not making good reading progress might have a reading disability, such as dyslexia. With the right educational help, most kids can become readers, but identifying the problem and addressing it early will bring about the best results.

What to Read

As your child becomes a more confident reader, continue to introduce a wide range of books. When it comes to reading aloud, look for two types of books — those that could be read alone and those that are above your child’s current independent reading level. With this mix, your child can re-read some of these books independently, while you’ll have to do the reading (or at least help) with the challenging ones that allow your child to enjoy a more sophisticated story and learn new words.

Let your child’s interests lead the way when you are choosing books. Sports? Music? Dinosaurs? Look for books on topics you know are of interest and ones that relate to these things. For example, if you know your child is interested in whales, look for books that talk about famous explorers or historical fiction set on whaling boats. As your child gets older, you will find that he or she enjoys increasingly complex books that can each about the world and introduce social and ethical issues.

Talk about the books your child is reading independently and for school and about favorite topics and authors. If the author has written a series of books, encourage your child to read them all. Some kids enjoy keeping a checklist of favorite authors’ books.

Other types of books kids might like include:

• biographies of famous people
• books about kids dealing with challenges
• books containing language play
• mysteries
• science fiction and fantasy

Another way to grab your child’s interest is to pick books that have a personal connection. Introduce your childhood favorites and talk about why you love them. Kids may also like to read junior versions of the same magazines you read.

When and How to Read

The school-age child’s schedule can be a busy one. You may be having dinner on the go as you scoot from soccer practice to music lessons. But if you can find 30 minutes a day to read with your child, you will help ensure future reading success. Even if 30 minutes isn’t possible, remember that any time you spend reading is better than no time at all.

Use the same strategies you did when your child was younger — talk about what you read before, during, and after, asking open-ended questions that encourage your child to have a conversation with you. Read expressively and with enjoyment.

But at this age, it’s important to let your child read to you. You might choose to take turns reading (“You read a page, then I’ll read a page,” etc.). To help with less familiar words, you can “practice” them in advance by having your child point to the words you say on a given page, or even in a specific line of text.

If your child is reading and comes to an unfamiliar word, encourage skipping it and reading the rest of the sentence, then thinking about what word would make sense in that context (“What do you think would work in this sentence?”). Be careful not to correct every error your child makes, as this will be frustrating for both of you. If your child seems discouraged or frustrated while reading, you can offer to take over.

If you’re reading a longer chapter book, here are some tips for maintaining your child’s interest:

• Before you begin a new chapter, talk a little bit about what happened in the previous one.
• Re-read lines your child found funny.
• Let your child read to you (if he or she wants to).
• If a block of text is too challenging for your child, don’t be afraid to summarize or skip over it. Or offer to take over the reading momentarily.
• Ask your child’s opinion about a character’s actions or decisions. What would he or she do in the same situation? Save questions for the end so your child can simply enjoy the story.
• Offer your own honest opinions about what you’ve read, and ask the same of your child.

Making Time to Read

Reading aloud isn’t the only way to encourage kids to read. There are plenty of opportunities during day-to-day life, like cooking together and having your child read you the recipe. Or when you play a new game, ask your child to read the directions aloud.

You might invite kids to participate in your family’s vacation planning by having them read through brochures or magazines about a potential destination and highlighting things of interest.

Buy a children’s dictionary so your kids can look up definitions of new words, and help them look for answers to questions in an encyclopedia or online. When using the Internet, help your kids learn to question and think critically about the information found online.

Kids should have a library card and lots of opportunities to use it. Let yours make selections or ask the librarian for help finding books.

As your child gets older and spends less time every day with you, reading together can continue to be a way for you to connect on a daily basis. Talking about what you’ve read gives you a window into your child’s imagination and thoughts about the world.

What Kind of Activity?

There’s nothing cuter than a bunch of preschoolers playing T-ball or soccer, but is it the best way for them to be active? Probably not.

Team sports offer a chance for preschoolers to meet each other and get some exercise, but can be too complicated. Even simple rules may be hard for a 4- or 5-year-old to understand. If you’ve ever watched your child run the wrong way during a game, you already know this.

The average preschooler has not mastered sports basics such as throwing, catching, and taking turns. This can be frustrating and may discourage future participation in sports. If you do decide to enroll your child in soccer or another team sport, choose a peewee league that emphasizes the fundamentals.

The coach’s attitude and the way other parents approach the game are also important. Above all, a team activity should be fun, not upsetting. If your child isn’t having fun, ask why and try to address the issue or find another activity.

If you haven’t signed your child up for a team sport yet, don’t worry. Myths persist about how kids need a “head start” if they want to be competitive when they’re older. But kids who learn the fundamentals and like being active can readily catch on to sports when they’re a little older.

Keeping Preschoolers Active

If sports aren’t a must, what should be on a preschooler’s schedule? Engage your child in activities that are fun and challenging, but not beyond his or her abilities. Preschoolers are learning to hop, skip, and jump forward, and like to show how they can balance on one foot for a few seconds, catch a ball, or do a somersault.

They also may enjoy swimming, hiking, dancing, and riding a tricycle or bicycle with training wheels. All of these activities help develop skills and coordination. It’s important for preschoolers to engage in a variety of activities to encourage a wide range of movement and skills.

The National Association of Sports and Physical Education (NASPE) recommends that every day preschoolers should:

• get at least 60 minutes of structured physical activity (adult-led activity)
• get at least 60 minutes of unstructured physical activity (free play)
• not be inactive for more than 1 hour at a time (unless sleeping)

Adult-led activity means that you can get involved. Kids love seeing their parents play. Doing so also shows that being active is part of the normal routine for your family. Running, playing, and practicing basic skills, such as throwing, catching and kicking balls in the backyard or using playground equipment at a local park can be fun for the entire family.

Other activities to try with your preschooler (or for preschoolers to do together):

• Play games such as “Duck, Duck, Goose” or “Follow the Leader.” Mix it up with jumping, hopping, and walking backward.
• Kick a ball back and forth or set up a goal for your child.
• Practice hitting a ball off a T-ball stand.
• Play freeze dance or freeze tag.
• Practice balancing by pretending to be statues.

Kids who enjoy physical activity tend to stay active throughout their lives. And staying fit can improve self-esteem, help maintain a healthy weight, and decrease the risk of serious illnesses such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease.

If you’ve ever marveled at the look of concentration on the face of a child who tries to fit a square block into a square hole or catch a ball in mid-air, you know that playtime isn’t just about fun and games. It’s serious business — and toys are the tools of the trade.

But when it comes to playthings that educate as well as entertain, not all are created equal. Here is an age-wise guide to how kids play, and to the toys that not only thrill but also help kids understand the world, learn social and emotional skills, and stimulate a developing brain.

Babies: How They Play

Play in the first year of life is all about exploration. Babies use their five senses to learn about the interesting new world around them: Does an object feel hard or soft? Sticky or rough? What does it do if I drop it? Or put it in my mouth? Most play consists of “tasting” or mouthing an object and shaking, banging, or dropping it.

When your baby develops new motor skills, play becomes more coordinated and complex. For example, at about 4 months old, babies begin to reach for and grasp objects, like a rattle. By 6 or 7 months, that rattle can be transferred between hands. And around 9 months, a newly developed pincer grasp makes it easier for babies to pick up smaller objects, like blocks and other small age-appropriate toys. During this time, play is usually a solitary activity, but playing side-by-side with other babies and imitating activities is common by year’s end.

As your baby grows, peer interaction will become more important. But the truth is that you are your baby’s favorite playmate. Have you ever danced a puppet in front of your baby’s face, only to have him grab it and pull it toward his mouth? Or has he ever squealed in anticipation and delight when you creep toward him, saying, “I’m gonna get you!”

These interactions help your baby learn about language, social relations, and cause-and-effect. Once babies begin to understand how things in the environment relate to each other and how they taste, smell, feel, and sound, babies are ready for the next stage of development: figuring out how they work.

Smart Toys for Babies

• Nursery mobile. Objects dancing above a baby’s head while lying in a crib stimulate vision and develop attention span.
• Mirror. Initially, your baby will be fascinated with the changing face and expressions looking back from the mirror. Over time, your baby will realize that the drooling, smiling baby staring back is actually a reflection. Once this happens, babies become aware of themselves, which leads to more self-discovery as they learn about body parts and where they are.
• Ring stack. This classic toy features a cone that fits different sized colored rings. At first, babies enjoy holding and mouthing the rings. Later, they practice fine motor skills by fitting the rings onto the cone. Toddlers also learn about colors and numbers when you count the multicolored rings as you stack them.
• Push-pull toys. These help with balance and large-muscle development as your little one goes from a couch surfer to a walker. The more babies push and pull, the more they work the muscles necessary to turn them into runners and climbers. Later, in the toddler years, kids can use them to help control their increasing speed.

Toddlers: How They Play

If you think of your infant as a little scientist, using five senses to gain understanding of the world around her, your toddler is an engineer trying to figure out how to take these objects and make them work. It’s not just an increasingly curious brain that makes this happen; it’s also improved fine motor skills and stronger muscles.

Toddlers are becoming aware of the function of objects, so they’re more likely to stack blocks, babble into a toy phone, or drink from a “big kid” cup. In addition, the concept of pretend play starts to emerge. Your little one might tuck a baby doll into bed at night or make “choo choo” noises while pushing a toy train.

This kind of pretend play lays the groundwork for preschool play, when using the oven timer in a play kitchen or ringing the bell in a pretend fire truck signifies your child’s growing understanding that each item serves a purpose.

During this time, your tot also will begin to differentiate colors and shapes — so choose toys that are bright, colorful, and fun for little hands to hold. By age 2, most toddlers can kick a ball, scribble with a crayon, and build towers four or more blocks tall. By age 3, they can do simple puzzles and pedal a tricycle.

Expect to see a lot of repetition, as that’s how little ones master new skills and learn they have some control over the world around them.

Smart Toys for Toddlers

• Balls. Whether they’re bounced, rolled, caught, or thrown, balls encourage gross motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and dexterity.
• Shape-sorting toys. Pegboard puzzles, nesting cups or blocks, and buckets with holes for different shaped blocks challenge hand-eye coordination and problem-solving skills.
• Mechanical toys. Pop-up toys and “busy” boxes with knobs, buttons, and levers encourage fine motor skills and problem solving, and teach cause-and-effect.
• Role-play toys. Play kitchens, doctor’s kits, and golf sets help children learn how the world works by imitating the actions of you and other influential adults. Dolls and stuffed animals encourage pretend play (a tea party for teddy bears, perhaps?) and aid social and emotional development by teaching tots how to express emotions and take care of something they love.

Preschoolers: How They Play

Babies explore objects with the five senses. Toddlers start figuring out how they work. Now, as preschoolers, they will use toys and other objects for their intended purpose, yet also will imagine a world of other possibilities for them: A blanket thrown over a coffee table becomes a secret clubhouse. Modeling clay can be used to make pizza pies that you’re asked to “taste.”

For a preschooler, the world becomes a magical place without limitations — and preschoolers are the masters and creators of it all. It’s not uncommon for kids this age to think they have magical powers and can battle “monsters” and win, or turn into a princess, fairy, or other whimsical creature.

Often, your preschooler will pull you into a fantasy and expect you to play along. It’s also during this time that imaginary friends may “appear.” This type of fantasy play is crucial to kids’ development because it helps them work on their fears, anxieties, hopes, and dreams.

The world is also a stage, so expect to hear lots of “mommy, daddy, watch!” as your preschooler learns one new trick after another and seeks your approval and support for new accomplishments. The desire to connect with others extends to friends as preschoolers begin to learn the give-and-take of cooperative play and sharing.

Pretend play becomes more elaborate. Girls might imagine being princesses; boys might orchestrate crashes on their toy train tracks. And their knowledge of the world is more advanced, so don’t be surprised if your preschooler knows exactly how to work the DVD player or make electrical toys (like a radio-controlled car or a video game) work.

Play itself becomes more physical. Why just walk when you can hop, jump, or skip?

Smart Toys for Preschoolers

• Arts and crafts. As fine motor skills improve, activities like holding a crayon, drawing pictures of family members, and using a pair of safety scissors to cut and paste strengthen coordination, encourage creativity, and foster self-esteem.
• Blocks and construction sets. Building a tower (and figuring out how to stop it from toppling over) encourages problem-solving skills and hand-eye coordination. Preschoolers will use their imaginations to create buildings, vehicles, animals, and more from simple construction sets.
• Puzzles. Jigsaw puzzles help with coordination and dexterity, and teach about spatial relationships (where things are in relation to other things) and logical thinking.
• Pretend play. Girls may play with dollhouses and boys dress as firefighters as they begin to identify with gender-specific roles. Boys might be fascinated with trying to “fix” things they pretend are broken, whereas girls might mimic mom by pretending to cook dinner.

Big Kids: How They Play

Elementary school-age kids are accomplished in ways they never were before. They’ve grasped an understanding of the world around them and are now moving toward mastering skills that once challenged them, like catching a football or braiding a friend’s hair.

This also is the time where talents and interests take hold — a 4-year-old who enjoyed story time may grow to love reading; a 5-year-old who listened to music might want to play piano.

Physical abilities, like large and fine motor skills, are being refined. Children learn to ride two-wheel bicycles and glide on skateboards. Arts and crafts become more intricate, and a child might spend hours weaving friendship bracelets or drawing comic strips.

Peer relationships take on more importance, and your child might be more interested in playing with classmates than with you. But remember that even as your child matures, you are still the most important playmate — so try to carve out some one-on-one time. Family game nights are one way to get everyone together.

And now’s the time to try new adventures, such off-road biking, that kids couldn’t do when they were younger and need your supervision to do safely now.

Smart Toys for Big Kids

• Jump rope. By skipping rope with friends, kids learn to take turns and get along with peers. All that jumping, and the coordination it requires, encourages large motor development and problem-solving skills.
• Card and board games. Card games like “war” or “crazy eights” and board games like checkers or chess teach about strategy, turn-taking, negotiating rules, and fair play. Encourage cooperation and help your child learn to manage the emotions that come with winning as well as losing.
• Musical instruments. Learning to play the piano, violin, guitar, or another instrument encourages listening and fine motor skills and helps build attention skills.
• Science toys. Chemistry sets, binoculars, telescopes, or other toys that promote discovery and problem-solving help improve math and science skills, and help develop imagination.

The Perfect Toy: You

A baby staring at a mobile; a toddler stacking blocks; a pre-schooler painting with watercolors — all are activities that can be done independently.

But don’t underestimate your role. After all, it’s you who put up the mobile, turned it on, and encouraged your baby to follow. It’s you who first showed your baby how to stack those blocks. And when you sit side-by-side with your kids and paint, color, or read a story, you give them the attention they need to build their self-esteem and feel loved and secure.

Toys are a tool to help kids develop, but it’s parents who nurture that growth.

Becoming a Reader

“Rattle, shake, screech, roar — who’s knockin’ at my door?” Matthew tears through the house, a sheet over his head. “Boom, boom, in my room!” he yells. “A witch is flyin’ on her broom!”

For the past month, Matthew has immersed himself in a world of Halloween books. Although he does not yet know how to read text, he spends time every day looking at books with spooky ghosts, goblins, and skeletons. He recites lines he has memorized from the many times his parents have read them aloud. And he makes up his own stories too. All this adds up to one thing: Matthew is becoming a reader.

Moving Toward School — and Reading

Preschoolers know a lot of things they didn’t know as babies. They don’t read independently, but if they’ve been read to a lot, they know a thing or two about reading:

• They know books are read from front to back.
• Pictures should be right-side up.
• Reading is done from left to right.
• The language of books is different from spoken language.
• Words have different sounds in them.
• There are familiar and unfamiliar words.
• Stories have a beginning, a middle, and ending.

All of these are emergent literacy skills — important building blocks toward the day when they’ll read independently. How can you encourage further development of these skills? Just keep reading aloud.

Choosing lots of different books to read aloud will build your preschooler’s vocabulary, and help your child learn about different topics and understand how stories are structured and what characters do in them. Your child also will learn that:

• Text is words written down.
• Letters in a specific order form a word.
• There are spaces between words.

Understanding these basic concepts will help when kids start formal reading instruction in school.

When and How to Read

Many kids this age have moved beyond the small world of home to childcare or preschool. They may even be enrolled in lessons or classes. Read-aloud time can be a chance to slow down and spend time together.

Try to have set times to read together. Before bed works well, as do other “down” times in the day, like first thing in the morning or after meals. Your child will enjoy cuddling with you, hearing your voice, and feeling loved.

Kids between 3 and 5 years old are eager to show off what they know and love to be praised. Continue to choose some books with simple plots and repetitive text that your child can learn and retell. Encourage your child to “read” to you and praise the attempts.

Here are some additional tips:

• Yes, you should read that book for the millionth time — and try not to sound bored. Your child is mastering many skills with each re-reading.
• When you are looking at a new book, introduce it. Look at the cover and talk about what it might be about. Mention the author by name and talk about what an author does.
• Ask your child why a character may have taken a specific action.
• Ask what part of the story your child liked best and why.
• Talk about the parts of the story — how did it begin? What happened in the middle? What did your child think of the ending?
• Move your fingers under the words as you read to demonstrate the connection between what you are saying and the text.
• When you come to familiar or repetitive lines, pause and let your child finish them. (“I do not like green eggs and….I do not like them, Sam….”)
• Ask your child to point out letters or words he or she might recognize. You might also occasionally point to words and sound them out slowly while your child watches.

While it’s important to sometimes ask your child more complicated questions, your top goal should be to enjoy reading and have fun. Don’t make reading a book like a test your child needs to pass. Look at the pictures, make up alternative words together, and be playful and relaxed.

Also, remember that reading comes to different kids at different times. Some kids fall in love with books earlier than others. So if your child is one who doesn’t seem as interested right away, just keep reading and showing how wonderful it can be.

Remember these three key phrases: Read with me! Talk with me! Have fun with me! These three things can help your child on the road to reading success.

The Best Books for Busy Minds

Preschoolers like books that tell stories; they’re also increasingly able to turn paper pages and sit still, so longer picture books are a good choice for this age group. Continue to read your child books with predictable texts and familiar words, but also include those with a richer vocabulary and more complicated plots. Consider reading chapter books that take more than one session to finish.

Kids are curious and like reading books about other kids who look and act like them, but also want stories with kids who live in different places and do different things. Expose your child to many characters and talk about how they act and what decisions they make. Include talking animals, monsters, and fairies to stimulate your little one’s vast imagination.

Reinforce positive feelings about something your child has learned to do (kick a soccer ball, paint a picture) by reading books about kids who have done the same thing. Help your child talk about fears and worries by reading books about going to the doctor or dentist, starting a new school, or dealing with a bully. And pick books that will challenge your child and help advance developing skills. Alphabet books, counting books, or books with lots of new vocabulary are all good choices.

Books about going to school — especially when kids are about to start preschool or kindergarten — are a great choice, as are books about making friends.

Pick nonfiction books that talk about a single subject of interest to your child — owls, the ocean, puppies, the moon — especially if they have great illustrations. And don’t forget poetry — preschoolers still love rhymes. This age group is starting to enjoy jokes, so silly poems or songs will be a huge hit.

Wordless picture books that convey meaning through the illustrations are also a must. Once the two of you have been through a wordless book a couple of times, your child will most likely begin telling you the story — and may even be found “reading” the story to favorite stuffed animals or dolls.

Try homemade books too — photo albums with captions and scrapbooks captivate preschoolers. When your child makes drawings, ask him or her to tell you what they are, label them, and then assemble them into a “book” that you can read together. You can even laminate the pages and have fun creating book covers so that they will last for years to come.

Books aren’t the only things your preschooler will love to read — magazines with lots of pictures and catalogues also are appealing. And ask people your child loves to send letters, postcards, or e-mails. Read these together and keep them in a special box where your child can look at them.

Other Ways to Encourage Book Time

Read-aloud time isn’t the only opportunity your child should have to spend time with books — preschoolers love to choose and look at books on their own. Keep books in a basket on the floor or on a low shelf where your child can reach them easily and look at them independently. Keep some books in the car and always have a few handy in your bag for long visits to the doctor or lines at the post office.

At this age consider fostering independent reading by putting a reading lamp bedside so your child can look at books for little while before going to sleep. And kids who have just given up naps can be encouraged to spend “quiet time” looking at books on their own.

Most important of all: Remember to let your child catch you reading for enjoyment. Turn off the TV, pull out a book, and curl up on the couch where your child can see you — and join you with his or her own favorite book.