Communicating With Your Baby

Tearful, tantrum-filled goodbyes are common during a child’s earliest years. Around the first birthday, many kids develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent tries to leave them with someone else.

Though separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of childhood development, it can be unsettling.

Understanding what your child is going through and having a few coping strategies ready can help both of you get through it.

About Separation Anxiety

Babies adapt pretty well to other caregivers. Parents probably feel more anxiety about being separated than infants do! As long as their needs are being met, most babies younger than 6 months adjust easily to other people.

Between 4-7 months of age, babies develop a sense of “object permanence.” They’re realizing that things and people exist even when they’re out of sight. Babies learn that when they can’t see mom or dad, that means they’ve gone away. They don’t understand the concept of time, so they don’t know mom will come back, and can become upset by her absence. Whether mom is in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it’s all the same to the baby, who might cry until mom is nearby again.

Kids between 8 months and 1 year old are growing into more independent toddlers, yet are even more uncertain about being separated from a parent. This is when separation anxiety develops, and children may become agitated and upset when a parent tries to leave.

Whether you need to go into the next room for just a few seconds, leave your child with a sitter for the evening, or drop off your child at daycare, your child might now react by crying, clinging to you, and resisting attention from others.

The timing of separation anxiety can vary. Some kids might go through it later, between 18 months and 2½ years of age. Some never experience it. And for others, certain life stresses can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent: a new childcare situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home.

How Long Does It Last?

How long separation anxiety lasts can vary, depending on the child and how a parent responds. In some cases, depending on a child’s temperament, separation anxiety can last from infancy through the elementary school years.

Separation anxiety that affects an older child’s normal activities can be a sign of a deeper anxiety disorder. If separation anxiety appears out of the blue in an older child, there might be another problem, like bullying or abuse.

Separation anxiety is different from the normal feelings older kids have when they don’t want a parent to leave (which can usually be overcome if a child is distracted enough). And kids do understand the effect this has on parents. If you run back into the room every time your child cries or cancel your plans, your child will continue to use this tactic to avoid separation.

What You Might Feel

Separation anxiety might have you feeling a variety of emotions. It can be nice to feel that your child is finally as attached to you as you are to him or her. But you’re also likely to feel guilty about taking time out for yourself, leaving your child with a caregiver, or going to work. And you may start to feel overwhelmed by the amount of attention your child seems to need from you.

Keep in mind that your little one’s unwillingness to leave you is a good sign that healthy attachments have developed between the two of you. Eventually, your child will be able to remember that you always return after you leave, and that will be comfort enough while you’re gone. This also gives kids a chance to develop coping skills and a little independence.

Making Goodbyes Easier

These tips can help ease kids and parents through this difficult period:

• Timing is everything. Try not to start daycare or childcare with an unfamiliar person when your child is between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, when separation anxiety is first likely to appear. Also, try not to leave when your child is tired, hungry, or restless. If at all possible, schedule your departures for after naps and mealtimes.
• Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places slowly. If you plan to leave your child with a relative or a new babysitter, invite that person over in advance so they can spend time together while you’re in the room. If your child is starting at a new daycare center or preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins. Practice leaving your child with a caregiver for short periods so that he or she can get used to being away from you.
• Be calm and consistent. Create an exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure him or her that you’ll be back — and explain when you’ll return using concepts kids will understand (such as after lunch). Give your full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you’re leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.
• Follow through on promises. It’s important to make sure that you return when you have promised to. This is critical — this is how your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through the time apart.

As hard as it may be to leave a child who’s screaming and crying for you, it’s important to have confidence that the caregiver can handle it. By the time you get to your car, your child is likely to have calmed down and be playing with other things.

If you’re caring for another person’s child who’s having separation anxiety, try to distract the child with an activity or toy, or with songs, games, or anything else that’s fun. You may have to keep trying until something just clicks with the child.

Also, try not to mention the child’s mother or father, but do answer the child’s questions in a simple and straightforward way. You might say: “Mommy and Daddy are going to be back as soon as they are done dinner. Let’s play with some toys!”

It’s Only Temporary

Remember, this phase will pass. If your child has never been cared for by anyone but you, is naturally shy, or has other stresses, separation anxiety may be worse than it is for other kids.

Also, trust your instincts. If your child refuses to go to a certain babysitter or daycare center or shows other signs of tensions, such as trouble sleeping or loss of appetite, there could be a problem with the childcare situation.

If intense separation anxiety lasts into preschool, elementary school, or beyond and interferes with daily activities, discuss it with your doctor. It could be a sign of a rare but more serious condition known as separation anxiety disorder. Kids with this disorder fear being lost from their family members and are often convinced that something bad will happen. Talk with your doctor if your child has signs of this, including:

• panic symptoms (such as nausea, vomiting, or shortness of breath) or panic attacks before a parent leaves
• nightmares about separation
• fear of sleeping alone (although this is also common in kids who don’t have separation anxiety)
• excessive worry about being lost or kidnapped or going places without a parent

For most kids, the anxiety of being apart from a parent passes without any need for medical attention. But if you have concerns, talk to your doctor.

Jacob loves books. His mom knows this because when she sits down to read to him every night, he waves his arms excitedly.

His favorite page of “Goodnight Moon” shows a cow jumping over the moon. He squeals and reaches for the book every time he sees it. When she is done reading, his mom usually lets him hold the sturdy board book, which he promptly sticks into his mouth.

Jacob is only 6 months old, but he is already well on his way to becoming a reader.

Why Read to My Baby?

You may wonder about the benefits of reading to your baby. An infant won’t understand everything you’re doing or why. But you wouldn’t wait until your child could understand what you were saying before you started speaking to him or her, right? Nor would you bypass lullabies until your baby could carry a tune or wait until he or she could shake a rattle before you offered any toys.

Reading aloud to your baby is a wonderful shared activity you can continue for years to come — and it’s an important form of stimulation.

Reading aloud:

• teaches a baby about communication
• introduces concepts such as numbers, letters, colors, and shapes in a fun way
• builds listening, memory, and vocabulary skills
• gives babies information about the world around them

Believe it or not, by the time babies reach their first birthday they will have learned all the sounds needed to speak their native language. The more stories you read aloud, the more words your child will be exposed to and the better he or she will be able to talk.

Hearing words helps to build a rich network of words in a baby’s brain. Kids whose parents frequently talk/read to them know more words by age 2 than children who have not been read to. And kids who are read to during their early years are more likely to learn to read at the right time.

When you read, your child hears you using many different emotions and expressive sounds, which fosters social and emotional development. Reading also invites your baby to look, point, touch, and answer questions — all of which promote social development and thinking skills. And your baby improves language skills by imitating sounds, recognizing pictures, and learning words.

But perhaps the most important reason to read aloud is that it makes a connection between the things your baby loves the most — your voice and closeness to you — and books. Spending time reading to your baby shows that reading is a skill worth learning. And, if infants and children are read to often with joy, excitement, and closeness, they begin to associate books with happiness — and budding readers are created.

Different Ages, Different Stages

Young babies may not know what the pictures in a book mean, but they can focus on them, especially faces, bright colors, and contrasting patterns. When you read or sing lullabies and nursery rhymes, you can entertain and soothe your infant.

Between 4 and 6 months, your baby may begin to show more interest in books. He or she will grab and hold books, but will mouth, chew, and drop them as well. Choose sturdy vinyl or cloth books with bright colors and repetitive or rhyming text.

Between 6 and 12 months, your child is beginning to understand that pictures represent objects, and most likely will develop preferences for certain pictures, pages, or even entire stories. Your baby will respond while you read, grabbing for the book and making sounds, and by 12 months will turn pages (with some help from you), pat or start to point to objects on a page, and repeat your sounds.

When and How to Read

Here’s a great thing about reading aloud: It doesn’t take special skills or equipment, just you, your baby, and some books. Read aloud for a few minutes at a time, but do it often. Don’t worry about finishing entire books — focus on pages that you and your baby enjoy.

Try to set aside time to read every day — perhaps before naptime and bedtime. In addition to the pleasure that cuddling your baby before bed gives both of you, you’ll also be making life easier by establishing a routine. This will help to calm your baby and set expectations about when it’s time to sleep.

It’s also good to read at other points in the day. Choose times when your baby is dry, fed, and alert. Books also come in handy when you’re stuck waiting, so have some in the diaper bag to fill time sitting at the doctor’s office or standing in line at the grocery store.

Here are some additional reading tips:

• Cuddling while you read helps your baby feel safe, warm, and connected to you.
• Read with expression, pitching your voice higher or lower where it’s appropriate or using different voices for different characters.
• Don’t worry about following the text exactly. Stop once in a while and ask questions or make comments on the pictures or text. (“Where’s the kitty? There he is! What a cute black kitty.”) Your child might not be able to respond yet, but this lays the groundwork for doing so later on.
• Sing nursery rhymes, make funny animal sounds, or bounce your baby on your knee — anything that shows that reading is fun.
• Babies love — and learn from — repetition, so don’t be afraid of reading the same books over and over. When you do so, repeat the same emphasis each time as you would with a familiar song.
• As your baby gets older, encourage him or her to touch the book or hold sturdier vinyl, cloth, or board books. You don’t want to encourage chewing on books, but by putting them in his or her mouth, your baby is learning about them, finding out how books feel and taste — and discovering that they’re not edible!

What to Read

Books for babies should have simple, repetitive text and clear pictures. During the first few months of life, your child just likes to hear your voice, so you can read almost anything, especially books with a sing-song or rhyming text. As your baby gets more interested in looking at things, choose books with simple pictures against solid backgrounds.

Once your baby begins to grab, you can read vinyl or cloth books that have faces, bright colors, and shapes. When your baby begins to respond to what’s inside of books, add board books with pictures of babies or familiar objects like toys. When your child begins to do things like sit up in the bathtub or eat finger foods, find simple stories about daily routines like bedtime or bathtime. When your child starts talking, choose books that invite babies to repeat simple words or phrases.

Books with mirrors and different textures (crinkly, soft, scratchy) are also great for this age group, as are fold-out books that can be propped up, or books with flaps that open for a surprise. Board books make page turning easier for infants and vinyl or cloth books can go everywhere — even the tub. Babies of any age like photo albums with pictures of people they know and love. And every baby should have a collection of nursery rhymes!

One of the best ways you can ensure that your little one grows up to be a reader is to have books around your house. When your baby is old enough to crawl over to a basket of toys and pick one out, make sure some books are included in the mix.

In addition to the books you own, take advantage of those you can borrow from the library. Many libraries have storytime just for babies, too. Don’t forget to pick up a book for yourself while you’re there. Reading for pleasure is another way you can be your baby’s reading role model.

We recently left our 5-month-old daughter with trusted friends overnight. We were so worried about how she’d react, but our friends said she was fine the entire time. Don’t babies experience separation anxiety when they’re away from their parents?
– Allia and Chris

The first time you leave your baby with a babysitter is likely to be harder on you than it is on your child. As long as their needs are being met, most babies younger than 6 months adapt pretty well to other caregivers.

Most babies start to have separation anxiety when they’re 8 to 12 months old, with it peaking between 1 and 2 years of age. Separation anxiety usually happens once a baby grasps the idea of object permanence — that there’s only one of you and when she can’t see you, you’ve gone away. What causes the anxiety is that she doesn’t understand when and if you’ll come back. Playing games like peek-a-boo can help her learn that you will return after you go away.

Separation anxiety is a common developmental stage, and your baby will probably go through it sooner or later. Until then, be glad that her first time away from you was safe and enjoyable.

My 2½-year-old daughter seems to talk less than her sister did at this age. I know that kids develop language skills at different times, but I’m still concerned. What’s “normal” for her age?
– Nina

As you mention, all children (yes, even siblings!) develop and refine their language skills at different times throughout their development, so the range of what’s “normal” is broad. However, some guidelines can help parents decide if their child might be at the latter end of the spectrum.

A typical 2-year-old should:

• speak in two-word phrases, like “more juice” and “go bye-bye”
• follow two-step commands
• name simple objects
• have a vocabulary of 50 or more words
• be understood at least 50% of the time by a parent

Between 2 and 3 years, vocabulary continues to build and comprehension also increases. By 3 years of age, a child should:

• speak in three-word sentences
• have a vocabulary of 200 words or more (basically, more than you can count)
• be understood 75% of the time
• understand prepositions (such as, “put it on the table” or “put it under the bed”)
• use pronouns (“me,” “you,” “it”)

If you feel that your child is not on track, talk to your doctor about your concerns.

Do you remember your baby’s very first cry? From the moment of birth, babies begin to communicate.

At first, your newborn’s cries may seem like a foreign language. But before you know it, you’ll learn your baby’s “language” and be able to answer your little one’s needs.

How Babies Communicate

Babies are born with the ability to cry, which is how they communicate for a while. Your baby’s cries generally tell you that something is wrong: an empty belly, a wet bottom, cold feet, being tired, or a need to be held and cuddled, etc.

Sometimes what a baby needs can be identified by the type of cry — for example, the “I’m hungry” cry may be short and low-pitched, while “I’m upset” may sound choppy. Before you know it, you’ll probably be able to recognize which need your baby is expressing and respond accordingly.

But babies also can cry when feeling overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world — or for no clear reason at all. So if your baby cries and you aren’t able to console him or her immediately, remember that crying is one way babies shut out stimuli when they’re overloaded.

While crying is the main way that babies communicate, they also use other, more subtle forms. Learning to recognize them is rewarding and can strengthen your bond with your baby.

A newborn can tell the difference between a human voice and other sounds. Try to pay attention to how your little one responds to your voice, which is already associated with care: food, warmth, touch.

If your baby is crying in the bassinet, see how quickly your approaching voice quiets him or her. See how closely your baby listens when you talk in loving tones. Your baby may not yet coordinate looking and listening, but even when staring into the distance, will be paying close attention to your voice as you speak. Your baby may subtly adjust body position or facial expression, or even move the arms and legs in time with your speech.

Sometime during your newborn’s first month, you may get a glimpse of a first smile — a welcome addition to your baby’s communication skills!

What Should I Do?

As soon as you hold your baby after birth, you’ll begin to communicate with each other by exchanging your first glances, sounds, and touches. Babies quickly learn about the world through their senses.

As the days after birth pass, your newborn will become accustomed to seeing you and will begin to focus on your face. The senses of touch and hearing are especially important, though.

Your baby will be curious about noises, but none more so than the spoken voice. Talk to your baby whenever you have the chance. Even though your baby doesn’t understand what you’re saying, your calm, reassuring voice conveys safety. Your newborn is learning about life with almost every touch, so provide lots of tender kisses and your little one will find the world a soothing place.

Communicating with newborns is a matter of meeting their needs. Always respond to your newborn’s cries — babies cannot be spoiled with too much attention. Indeed, quick responses to babies’ cries lets them know that they’re important and worthy of attention.

There will probably be times when you have met all needs, yet your baby continues to cry. Don’t despair — your little one might be overstimulated, have too much energy, or just need a good cry for no apparent reason.

It’s common for babies to have a fussy period about the same time every day, generally between early evening and midnight. Though all newborns cry and show some fussiness, when an infant who is otherwise healthy cries for more than 3 hours per day, more than 3 days per week for at least 3 weeks, it is a condition known as colic. This can be upsetting, but the good news is that it’s short-lived — most babies outgrow it at around 3 or 4 months of age.

Try to soothe your baby. Some are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods.

Should I Be Concerned?

Talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for an unusual length of time, if the cries sound odd to you, or if the crying is associated with decreased activity, poor feeding, or unusual breathing or movements. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby’s distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset.

Here are some other reasons for prolonged crying:

• The baby is ill. A baby who cries more when being held or rocked may be sick. Call your doctor, especially if the baby has a temperature of 100.4°F (38°C) or more.
• The baby has an eye irritation. A scratched cornea or “foreign body” in a baby’s eye can cause redness and tearing. Call your doctor.
• The baby is in pain. An open diaper pin or other object could be hurting the baby’s skin. Take a close look everywhere, even each finger and toe (sometimes hair can get wrapped around a baby’s tiny digits and cause pain; this is known as a hair tourniquet).

If you have any questions about your newborn’s ability to see or hear, contact your doctor immediately. Even newborns can be tested using sophisticated equipment, if necessary. The sooner a potential problem is caught, the better it can be treated.

During these months, your baby might say “mama” or “dada” for the first time, and will communicate using body language, like pointing and shaking his or her head.

Your baby will pay even more attention to your words and gestures and will try very hard to imitate you — so be careful what you say!

How Babies Communicate

Babies this age test their verbal skills as they prepare for their big speaking debut. From babbling strings of consonants like “babababa,” they will begin to produce recognizable syllables, such as “ga,” “ba,” and “da.” By seeing their parents’ excitement at hearing “dada” or “mama,” babies soon learn to connect a word with its meaning.

Even before babies can talk, they communicate through gestures — pointing, shaking their head “no,” and waving bye-bye all demonstrate their ability to communicate, understand, and respond to language.

You’ll know your baby understands what you say when you ask “Where’s Daddy?” and your little one looks his way, or you point and say “Go find the blue ball” and he or she crawls right to it. Your baby should respond well to his or her own name, and should look up (and at least pause) when you say a firm “NO!”

By the end of the first year, your baby will follow simple requests from you (“Wave bye-bye”), enjoy peek-a-boo, say “mama” and “dada,” and babble with inflections of typical speech.

What Should I Do?

Continue talking to your baby using names as well as repetitive word games, like “This little piggy.” Ask your baby to point to familiar objects and ask “Where’s the cup?” Or point to a ball and ask “What’s that?” Pause before you provide the answer. Soon your baby will be pointing and saying “bah?” as though asking a question.

Labeling objects during the course of the day reinforces the message that everything has its own name. From milk in the morning to a teddy bear at night, naming familiar objects will help your little one learn what they’re called and store this information for the day when he or she can form the right words.

Make learning a whole-body experience: Touch your baby’s toe when you say the word “toe.” Or point out your own ear and say, “Mommy’s (or Daddy’s) ear.” Face your baby when you speak to let him or her see your facial expression and lip movements.

Be musical and sing to your baby to encourage language learning. By listening to the words, babies learn to recognize and repeat them. Throw in hand gestures and vary the style and tempo of the music to keep your baby’s attention. Babies also respond to rhymes, which show how playful language can be.

Read to your baby from large, colorful picture books, and encourage him or her to turn the pages. Give your baby a chance to “read” and “answer” your questions.

If You’re Concerned

By the 12 months, babies usually:

• respond to “no”
• follow simple commands
• use simple gestures, like pointing or shaking their heads
• say mama and dada

When it comes to language development, there is a wide range of normal. If you have concerns about your baby’s language skills or hearing, talk to your doctor.

Your baby’s range of sounds and facial expressions continues to grow, with lots of smiling, laughing, and babbling. Your baby is also imitating sounds, an important skill for learning to talk.

How Babies Communicate

Babies this age begin to experiment with the sounds they can make with their mouths. Your baby will spend more time babbling and is learning to imitate sounds. Make no mistake, these are your baby’s early attempts at speaking and should be encouraged as much as possible.

If you listen closely, you’ll hear your baby’s voice raise and drop as if asking a question or making a statement. Your baby will also use sounds (other than crying) to get your attention and express feelings.

Your baby is just now beginning to understand the fundamentals of communication through language. When younger, your baby understood your meaning through the tone of your voice: soothing tones were comforting, agitated tones told him or her something was wrong.

Now, your baby is beginning to pick out the components of your speech and can hear and understand the different sounds you make and the way words form sentences. During this period babies learn to respond to their names, may pause when they hear “no,” and will start to associate words with familiar objects.

What Should I Do?

Babies this age enjoy vocal games and interactions. Your baby will be thrilled when you copy his or her coos and babbles. Imitate your baby’s “bah” and “ah-goo,” then follow up by saying some simple words that contain the same sound.

Have “conversations” and wait for a pause in your baby’s babble to “answer.” The give-and-take of these early discussions will set the stage for those first real words and conversations in the months to come. Ask your baby questions, and respond enthusiastically to whatever answers you get.

Introduce your baby to simple words that apply to everyday life. Name familiar people, objects, and activities. Babies understand words long before they can say them, so use real words and cut back on baby talk.

When you talk to your baby, slow your speech and emphasize single words — for example, say: “Do you want a toy? This is your toy,” as you show it to him or her. Then wait for a response. Following your speech with moments of silence will encourage your baby to vocalize and teach that conversation involves taking turns.

Should I Be Concerned?

By the end of the seventh month, babies usually:

• respond to their names
• respond to sounds by making their own
• babble repetitive consonants
• imitate sounds

Remember that there is a wide range of what’s normal for babies. If you have concerns about your baby’s language skills or hearing, talk to your doctor.

Communicating with our kids is one of the most pleasurable and rewarding parts of parenting. Children learn by absorbing information through daily interactions and experiences not only with us, but with other adults, family members, other kids, and the world.

Communicating With Your Child

The more interactive conversation and play kids are involved in, the more they learn. Reading books, singing, playing word games, and simply talking to toddlers will build their vocabulary and teach listening skills.

Here are a few suggestions to help improve your child’s communication skills:

• Talk to your toddler about what he or she did during the day or plans to do tomorrow. “I think it’s going to rain this afternoon. What shall we do?” Or discuss the day’s events at bedtime.
• Play make-believe games.
• Read favorite books over and over and encourage your child to join in with words he or she knows. Encourage “pretend” reading (letting your child “read” a book to you).

Vocabulary and Communication Patterns

Between the ages of 2 and 3, kids experience a tremendous growth spurt in language skills. At the start of this period, most kids can follow directions and say 50 or more words. Many combine words in short phrases and sentences. Kids this age usually can follow two-step instructions, such as “pick up the ball and bring it to Daddy.”

By age 3, a toddler’s vocabulary usually is 200 or more words, and many kids can string together three- or four-word sentences. Kids at this stage of language development can understand more and speak more clearly. By now, you should be able to understand about 75% of what your toddler says.

Kids should be using language freely and starting to solve problems and learn concepts. They usually can engage in a simple question-and-answer session. They also can count three objects correctly, begin to tell stories, and know their first and last name.

If You Suspect a Problem

If you think your child is having trouble with hearing, language development, or speech clarity, talk to your doctor. A hearing test may be one of the first steps in determining if your child has a hearing problem. Age 2 is not too young for a referral for a speech/language evaluation, particularly if a child is not following directions, answering simple questions, or saying enough words.

Typical Communication Problems

Communication problems for 2- to 3-year-olds include:

• hearing difficulties
• problems following directions
• poor vocabulary acquisition
• unclear speech
• stuttering

Stuttering and articulation problems are common at certain ages and most kids will outgrow them. Other problems may need further evaluation. Your doctor will discuss whether your child would benefit from speech and language evaluation and treatment. A child who also appears to be delayed in other areas of development may be referred to a developmental pediatrician or psychologist.

Some parents worry that a toddler who is not speaking may have autism. Children with autism and related conditions may have delayed speech or other problems with communication, but poor social interactions and limited or restricted interests or patterns of behavior are also hallmarks of this disorder.

If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s development, talk with your doctor.

This is an exciting time for parents, as babies this age make real progress in communicating. You and your baby will enjoy two-way “conversations” — exchanging smiles and oohs and aahs. And your baby’s personality begins to show as your little one becomes a more active and alert member of your family.

How Babies Communicate

Crying continues to be a baby’s primary means of communication for many months. Aside from letting parents know that they need something, they might cry when overwhelmed by all of the sights and sounds of the world.

Sometimes babies may cry for no clear reason. As long as your baby is not sick or hurt, try not to get too upset if your baby cries and you can’t console him or her right away.

Your baby will respond to the sound of your voice by becoming quiet, smiling, or getting excited and moving his or her arms and legs. Babies this age begin smiling regularly at mom and dad, but may need some time to warm up to less familiar people, like grandparents. Your baby probably won’t smile and act friendly with strangers.

Babies now discover their ability to vocalize: Soon you’ll have a cooing and gurgling machine! Some babies begin to make some vowel sounds (like “ah-ah” or “ooh-ooh”) at about 2 months.

Your baby will “talk” to you with a variety of sounds, and also will also smile at you and wait for your response, and respond to your smiles with his or her own. Your baby may even mimic your facial expressions.

What Should I Do?

Your baby loves to hear your voice, so talk, babble, sing, and coo away during these first few months. Respond enthusiastically to your baby’s sounds and smiles. Tell your baby what he or she is looking at or doing and what you are doing. Name familiar objects as you touch them or bring them to your baby.

Take special advantage of your baby’s own “talking” to have a “conversation.” If you hear your baby make a sound, repeat it and wait for him or her to make another. You are teaching your baby valuable lessons about tone, pacing, and taking turns when talking to someone else.

You are also sending the message that your baby is important enough to listen to. Don’t interrupt or look away when your baby’s “talking” — show you’re interested and that your little one can trust you.

Babies this age seem to respond best to the female voice — the one historically associated with comfort and food. That’s why most people will raise the pitch of their voices and exaggerate their speech when talking to babies. This is fine — studies have shown that “baby talk” doesn’t delay the development of speech — but mix in some regular adult words and tone. It may seem early, but you’re setting the stage for your baby’s first word.

Sometimes babies aren’t in the mood to talk or vocalize — even babies need their space and a break from all the stimulation in the world. Babies might turn away, closes their eyes, or becomes fussy or irritable. If this happens, let your little one be or just try cuddling.

There might be times when you’ve met all of your baby’s needs, yet he or she continues to cry. Don’t despair — your baby may be overly stimulated, have gas, or may have too much energy and need a good cry.

It’s common for babies to have a fussy period about the same time every day, generally between early evening and midnight. Though all babies cry and show some fussiness, when an infant who is otherwise healthy cries for more than 3 hours per day, more than 3 days per week for at least 3 weeks, it is a condition known as colic. This can be upsetting, but the good news is that it’s short-lived — most babies outgrow it at around 3 or 4 months of age.

Try to soothe your baby. Some babies are comforted by motion, such as rocking or being walked back and forth across the room, while others respond to sounds, like soft music or the hum of a vacuum cleaner. It may take some time to find out what best comforts your baby during these stressful periods.

If You’re Concerned

Talk to your doctor if your baby seems to cry for unusually long periods or if the cries sound odd to you. Your doctor will be able to reassure you or look for a medical reason for your baby’s distress. Chances are there is nothing wrong, and knowing this can help you relax and stay calm when your baby is upset.

During this period, babies usually reach these communication milestones:

• paying attention to faces and surroundings
• smiling at the sound of a parent’s voice
• smiling with social contact
• cooing and making sounds when talked to
• imitating some sounds and facial expressions

Keep in mind that babies communicate at different rates, just as they mature physically at different rates. There’s usually no cause for concern, but talk to your doctor if you have any questions about your baby’s language skills or hearing.

Language development really takes off during this time, especially as your little one approaches the second birthday.

Kids this age are better able to comprehend what is said to them and express what they want through words and gestures. They take joy in their ability to understand directions — and won’t hesitate to give directions of their own.

How Toddlers Communicate

Most kids say their first words around the time of their first birthday. A toddler who is preoccupied with learning to walk may push talking to the back burner; it’s not unusual and is nothing to be alarmed about.

Kids this age might have learned fragments of dozens of words that may not be recognizable. They may echo what they hear or mix a few words with jargon (babbling with sentence-like intonations). When they get around to talking, though, they’ll probably progress quickly and soon be able to point at something familiar and say its name, and recognize names of familiar people, objects, and body parts.

By 2 years old, most toddlers will say 50 words or more, use phrases, and be able to put together two- to three-word sentences.

No matter when they say their first words, it’s a sure bet they are already understanding much of what is said to them before that. Your child should be able to respond to simple commands (“Roll the ball to Mommy”) and should be fully aware of the names of familiar objects and family members.

How to Encourage Language Development

Your little one is listening to everything you say and storing it away at an incredible rate. Instead of using “baby” words, use the correct names for people, places, and things. Speak slowly and clearly, and keep it simple.

Your 1-year-old might still be communicating with gestures such as pointing at pictures or at something he or she wants. Gestures will get more elaborate over this year as toddlers use them to imitate actions, express themselves, and play.

Gestures are an important part of language development. Make the connection between gestures and language by using a running commentary such as, “Do you want a drink?” (when your child points to the refrigerator), then wait for a response. Then say, “What do you want? Milk? OK, let’s get some milk.” Such behavior encourages kids to respond and participate in conversations.

Your child will probably enjoy gesture games, like pat-a-cake and so-big, and identifying things, such as body parts, pictures, or objects, and familiar people: “Where’s your ear?”, “Show me the ball” and “Where is Mommy?”

Your child’s vocabulary will grow quickly, but pronunciation isn’t likely to keep pace. By 2 years of age, most kids are understandable only about half the time. But emphasize the correct pronunciations in your responses.

Should I Be Concerned?

Most children meet these language milestones during this period:

• saying several words by 15-18 months of age
• pointing to familiar people, objects, and some body parts by 18 months
• saying 50 or more words by 2 years of age
• putting two words together to form a sentence by age 2
• following two-step commands by age 2

Don’t hesitate to report any concerns you have to your doctor, especially if you feel your child is not talking or you have concerns about hearing.

Some parents worry that a toddler who is not speaking may have autism. Children with autism and related conditions may have delayed speech or other problems with communication, but poor social interactions and limited or restricted interests or patterns of behavior are also hallmarks of the disorder.

If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s development, talk with your doctor.